An Open Letter To My Son Julian Franco

Dear Julian Franco,

As of the time of writing this letter, you are 7-day old. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. I did not know that something could be so small, fragile and precious. There is not a day that I do not look at your wonderful face.

I get to see you play,drink milk and smile while you were sleeping. I hear you cry everytime you need something. In some instances too I've seen you get angry and frustrated.  You’re so much like me.

I love your smell. Your papa can tell you how much I like to smell him all day, even after being under the sun for a while. He has the most adorable smell. And you too.

I love you.

You are a ball of energy. You are the cutest thing.

Your papa is second only to you.

I want to tell you how much I love both of you. I’d love to show you how much I care.

I had to have him the first time I saw him. I was standing in front of the house where I stayed for awhile when I saw your papa for the first time. The first time I remember at least. 

It was sunny. 

He was sitting infront of his cousin’s house which was just few steps away from where I stayed. He had white shirt on and was just sitting alone. He didn’t see me. He didn’t even know I was staring… I was 18 that time.

Meeting him was one thing. Asking for his number is another. Our situation is quite complicated but it didn’t faze me.

It took about 6 years before we have the chance to talk and meet. 

The first time we met for a date,June 28, 2009, he showed up. Haha. Well, I was few minutes late, and your father, being the the man that he is, would have none of that.

We continued our communication. I was 23 then.

But things didn't turned out well at first. Some issues came out and it irritates me all the time.  Better not  enumerate the details.

"Some good things never last."

There are some people who will always turn you down when they see you happy. 

They threw words against your father.

But it never disappoint me. I still love him.

We had a lot of fun together.

I would accompany him anywhere he went. Your papa is a very busy person.

I surprised him with a party on his 30th birthday. I invited his friends and classmates. We held it at Videoke Bar. His friends helped me keep it a secret. There were balloons and decorations. 

We both loved to dine out and walk on seaside. We love beaches and I learned to love mountains because of him. We enjoyed nature. Your papa was the first to climb mountains. He tried to encourage me a lot of times, but I guess I was too stubborn.

I always enjoyed whatever we were doing. As long as your papa and I were together.

I wouldn't last a day without seeing him. I mean that.

I didn’t just love your papa.

I was crazy about him.

I was so crazy about him even it took 6 years to know him.

I was so crazy about him I traveled from Cavite to Taguig just to meet him on time on our first date.

I was so crazy about him I cried every night when I learned he's talking to some other girls.

I was crazy about him it cost me every peso of my income just to go to Taguig and back. And I’m there almost everyday. I used to live in Cavite.

I was so crazy about him I told him I’d believe anything he said even if i just found out first hand he was lying to me.

I was so crazy about him I kissed him. I wanted everyone to know he was mine. Only mine.

I was so crazy about him I didn't want him leaving the house if I’m not with him. 

I was so crazy about him I could not keep track of how many times I was jealous. All because I’ve been unreasonable.

I was so crazy about him I give back my full trust in him.

You’re papa had to put up with a lot of things when we were together.

In time, you’re gonna learn how naughty your papa is:) But we both love him, yes?

I have very bad mood swings. 

You’re papa loves you very much. More than you can imagine.

He was willing to put up with me if it meant you growing up with a mother.

He’s willing to live the rest of his life with someone as paranoid as me, so that you would have a family.

God knows I’d kill myself now if it will give your papa a better life. I would in a heartbeat. Believe me, I would. 

I wouldn't want you to see us fight over the smallest things.

I wouldn’t let you see me embarrass your papa in front of everyone when I’m upset with him.

I wouldn’t let you watch me criticize your papa with everything he does.

I love you. That’s why I want him to stay.

That’s why your papa is here with us.

You could forget everything I’ve said, but believe this: Your papa and I love you so much we talked about having you so many times.

We were the happiest person when we found out that we will going to have you.

He took care of me so much while you're still in my womb, I have nothing to ask for.

I believed in my heart your papa and I could make the smartest, most wonderful person in the world. And I was right.

You are the most wonderful thing in the world, Julian Franco. You are. Believe me.

You have your father’s smile. You are just as adorable.

We want the best for you.

We want to be a good example to you.

We're doing our best to be able to give you whatever you will need in the future.

You are loved. And by so many people you haven’t even met.

Know that,someone kisses your face before she goes to sleep.

Know that someone is moved to tears just hearing you cry.

Know that someone prays day and night to the Lord Almighty to protect you.

Know that someone has made a pact with Him, that she will change her ways in exchange for keeping you safe.

I know no other person better to take care of you than God and God alone. 

All I can tell you is that I love you. In my own twisted way… I do.

I hope that matters to you.

May you learn to love God Almighty with all of your heart. Read your Bible.

Listen to Him carefully..

Yes, I love your father.

I love you.

You were conceived in love, and more.

I hope by the time you can read this, I am already a better parent and wife to you and to your father.

The Lord Almighty’s promises will be proven to be true.Your papa and  I will be with you always. 

Until then I promise to do the best I can to be a better woman.


With all the love in the world,
Mama

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