Open Relationship??? I Want More Than That!!!!

Most of us wants a serious relationship, like a typical romance of a couple in a very romantic film. And I am one of the fan, for short, I am hopeless romantic. The man that I like wants an “Open Relationship” set up. I know that he’s so unsure about his feelings for me, but I am the problem!!! I got a deeper feelings for him which I cannot control anymore. We never said I love you to each other because at first we really do not love each other. Tamang loko lokohan lang. But I am so damn in love with him NOW!!!! For me, open relationship is like you enjoy each others company, you acted like you are lovers but there’s no commitment at all, which I really hated most!!!  why I am the one who gets into him with this kind of feeling. I don’t know what to do… Super confused if I will tell him that I love him already and that I want our relationship to go into the deeper one. I am afraid that if I tell him, he might be scared of the commitment and he will say infront of me ” I dont love you…” I hate rejections!

Just One Night

I do not know how I feel, all I know is that I am so confused. Since the time that I had sex with a person that I just met once, yeah, we’ve just dated once and I’m starting to get confused. I have a boyfriend for 3 years, we are happy but sometimes we always come up with a problem about being too controlling, at that time our relationship was on the rocks. Back to the story,it all started when I chatted this person, I knew him way back around 6 years ago but we were not close and no one introduced me to him and we didn’t talk to each other, on the other word, we are a total stranger. I really felt a little excitement under my nerve when we started to have a communication. Since then, we started to chat and text. And then we planned to meet. I am far from him because I’m currently residing in Cavite, while he stays at Makati where he also works. But that certain Friday night, I confirmed to him that I was about to go to Taguig, where my mom lives,Sunday and we can meet up at night. So plans are all set up.

Sunday came, we met at exactly 9:05 PM. When he saw me, I know he’s not comfortable and me too, I dont know what to say! We decided to go to a bar somewhere in Malate, he was so sweet and caring so I felt a little hooked within his plan. We ended up at Bedrock. Great music, nice performances from the band, but only the first one to play, not the other one because it really sucks!!!! We were very close to each other physically at that moment, exchanging stories and I really enjoyed his company. I love listening to his wonderful stories, it really amazed me when someone tells about their hardships and success in life. I felt that he’s kinda caressing me and I started to feel a little uncomfortable.. he started to hold my hand and he said nice things about me that my hair is sexy and I really smells great!! I resisted my self on touching him because I am a bit ashamed,he might think that I really like him, well in fact I do, ahaha. I am just being honest.

He continue to get so close to me and I can’t resist myself anymore from holding him too. He started to kiss me on my hand and cheek. We are not interested in the band anymore, because we are enjoying each other so we didn’t mind the band.. Then he told me something that he wants us to go somewhere else. I knew what he means. But still I insisted him to tell me what he wants. But I already get it. He wants us to go to a place somewhere private.

We left the bar, and we ride a taxi. We end up to a place who’s famous for a short time services.  I won’t going to mention the place anymore, okay. That is my first time to be there. When we entered the room, I washed up, after that he kiss me passionately going down. I really felt an electrical energy during that time.. I know where it will end.Then we did it! And all over again. I knew that we enjoyed it both, who doesn't??? I never felt guilty. I want this man but it seems that he doesn’t like me. And maybe all he wants is SEX, the usual thing for boys. So I told myself that this will be the first and the last, Just one night, and never again!